Now That I'm Someone Else

LIfe and loves of the bubble bath queen

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Things I'd like to see.........

I was walking to the grocery store, don't worry, it's next door but I still feel all earth conscious when I do it, almost tree huggerish, anyway, I was thinking about some things this world could use. So, if you see any of these, remember, someone stole the idea from my blog and I deserve royalties!

1. An arm jiggle fetish. Come on, you know you have it too. Sometimes, at work, I move my arm and from the corner of my eye I see that the bottom half of it keeps moving for a full two seconds after the rest of it stops. Arm jiggle deserves love too, and if we have a fetish for it I can stop lifting those weights that aren't working anyway.

2. A discreet fan, you know, a noiseless one that I can put under my skirt when I'm having a hot flash and no one will look at me like I fondle puppies.

3. A lotion to dissolve foot crusties. It's hard to feel sexy when you are in bed taking sandpaper to the bottom of your feet.

4. Retractable hair. Some days you can wear it long and sexy, some days short and sassy. Not extensions, too time consuming. I want to be able to spin my arm in a circle like that doll I had when I was little and make my hair shorter and then just pull on it to make it longer. You know you would buy it.

5. Reading glasses that instantly make me more attractive, instead of turning me into a librarian, and not in a good way either!

6. A coat tree that doesn't tip over when all the coats are on one side.

7. A thermostat that can sense your internal body temperature and adjust accordingly. Could be bad though, lots of people may freeze to death as a result of Mom's menopause.

8. A radio that can play two different stations at one time but you can only hear the one you want, and the same goes for the other person in the car. Would make driving with teenagers much less stressful.

That's it for now, like I said, it was a short walk, the mind just keeps going unfortunately and you my friends, get to reap the rewards of my weirdness.

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