Now That I'm Someone Else

LIfe and loves of the bubble bath queen

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Oh the horror of it all...........

So, once again my sisters and I went line dancing. First, before I make fun of other people, and you know I'm going to, I have to make fun of us.
Ok, Angie is all little and so when she gets lost in the dance it's not quite as noticeable as when Terrie and I get lost, but she does get lost sometimes. Mambo number 5 gets her every time, but I make her do it anyway.
Terrie, she is the best line dancer out of the three of us, she just gets it, Angie and I struggle, we are the kids on the short bus when it comes to learning new dances, Terrie, well, sometimes she just laughs at us but don't make her do a turn, she will turn the wrong way every time! And make sure she has a bra on, she knows what I'm talking about!
Me, well, I must confess, sometimes I look like I forgot to take my seizure medication. They go left, I go right, they go right, I go left, who cares, it's all fun right? I'm sure somewhere, someone is blogging about my inability to go in the right direction. Once, when I was learning to do the two step I actually screwed up so bad my dance partner and I fell over. Not tripped and fell, fell like a damn tree, straight over, he wouldn't be my partner after that, what a sissy boy. Is it my fault I can't follow? Ok, maybe it is, but enough about me!
So last night, first of all we had a moment of silence because twitchy ass and ballet hands were not there, you think they were together? Inquiring minds want to know.
Bigg Titties was there in all her 70 yr old glory and dear blog friends, I wish I had a picture because I'm not sure I can do her justice. First of all her hair was pinned up and had a flower in it. As we move south, she was wearing a long sleeve scoop necked cream shirt, very tight to show those boobies in all their glory, moving still farther south, she had a darker cream belt on. So far, not too bad, if you have a weak stomach now would be a good time to cover your eyes, I wish I had.
Bigg Titties was wearing..................not cloven hoof jeans, which I promise never to complain about again...........she was wearing a MINI SKIRT!!!!! But wait, there is more! Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, the mini skirt was cream colored with brown flowers was sheer! Oh cover the children's eyes! This wasn't just any mini skirt, it was right under her butt, or where her butt used to be! If you are over 25 you know that gravity is not your friend, I saw much more old lady butt crack than I ever dreamed I would. Bigg Titties sure does love to twirl and kick! And her leg skin doesn't fit her legs anymore. This outfit was completed by brown cowboy boots, would have been very cute, if she were only 50 years younger.
Which brings me to today's dilemma.. skinny or fat when you are old? Bigg Titties is thin, active and in good shape for someone who lived through the depression, but the skin on her legs doesn't fit. It hung in wrinkles, front and back of her legs. Chubby women, their skin fits their legs. So what do I do?
I go to the gym everyday to keep my ass from becoming it's own continent, and also because I would like to get married again before dementia sets in, but what about later?
I'm not a happy camper that my face skin has become larger than my face. I used to be cute, everything was firm and well defined but now, one order of french fries and I have jowls. So I think that as soon as I get married I'm telling him I'm getting fat,I want my damn skin to fit so when I am 70 and rocking a mini skirt, and I will be, I promise you, I may be chubby but at least my damn skin won't hang in wrinkles over my knees.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

i bet you could still pull of the pink mini skirt and teased up platinum hair that you showed up in at my front door 20 or so yrs ago

September 3, 2009 at 6:51 AM  
Blogger Sunnynovelist said...

Hmmm, damn who is reminding me of the 80's?

September 3, 2009 at 3:04 PM  

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