Now That I'm Someone Else

LIfe and loves of the bubble bath queen

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Daddy's and Daughters

Happy Father's day to all the wonderful fathers I know. This post is dedicated to my ex husband. Although my profile says I am a single mother of one, and on paper that's definately true, thanks to Steve, I am not a single parent.

Many of the blogs I read have very negative things to say about ex husbands and fathers in general. I want to tell the other side of the story. We all have negative things to say about our ex husbands ( and they about us), that's why we are divorced. However just because you are not the world's greatest spouse doesn't make you a bad parent.

Steve and I had a very hard time when we first divorced. There was a lot of animosity and hard feelings, fortunately we were able to sheild Mo from most of that. As time has passed we have formed a very friendly relationship, we even get along with the other people in each other's lives. ( Except for that one woman, I won't name names, he knows who she is)

But this is about father's, not ex spouses. Lots of fathers and mothers are deadbeats, I'm not denying that, but tons aren't. Steve pays child support, pays for her braces, school fees, whatever else Mo needs. It's never an argument, she is his child and he loves her.

Steve is there when Mo needs him. When she had surgery on her mouth he took the day off work to come and hold her hand while they put her under and to sit with me while we waited.

When it was over he was the one who carried her to the car and up three flights of stairs because the anesthesia hadn't worn off enough for her to walk. He stayed with us when I had to give her pain medication, just to make sure she didn't have an allergic reaction.

When Mo is being a typical teenage and I'm at my wits end, it's her Daddy I call. We are in this together, we make decisions for her, together, we have difficult conversations with her, together. We are united as her parents and as much as she whines about being from a broken home, I think her foundation is much stronger than lots of children of divorce.

Daddy is the one Mo calls and uses her baby voice, not me. Daddy is the one she wants when she is scared, not me. Daddy is the one she talks to when I'm being unreasonable. Mo is a Daddy's girl and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now in addition to our beautiful baby girl, Steve has another daughter, and he is just as atttentive to her as he is to Mo. Initially Mo was not happy about sharing her Daddy, she would much rather I have fifteen kids than to have to share her Daddy with one sibling. Mo was afraid, after all, she was Daddy's special girl. She was so afraid that this new little intruder was going to take her place in Daddy's world. Steve told her no matter how many kids he has that she would always be special, and then, he showed her it was the truth. Mo is able to love her sister with all her heart, and share her Daddy, because he showed her that some things never change.

Mo was born on Father's Day and I always joked and said Steve was never getting anything else for Father's Day, after all, how do you top that? The truth is that the three of us got the greatest gift that day. Steve and I got Mo, and Mo got the best Daddy any little girl could want.

Thank you Steve for giving our little girl the foundation and love she needs to grow into a strong, intelligent woman who knows she doesnt' have to settle. After all, Daddy loves her best.

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