Saturday's are for relaxing

Another beautiful Saturday. I woke up early, the weather is perfect for all the yard work I have to do, that little nip in the air to remind you that fall is around the corner.
I have become an early riser, which works to my benefit today. Mo is going to the first of two Homecoming dances tonight and I will be helping her get ready, but first, yard work.
I love my yard, it's tiny and manageable. Unfortunately this summer I decided to have fun instead of managing my very manageable yard, and boy am I paying for it now.
Everything is still pretty and green, there is just way too much of it and the weeds have dug their grubby little roots in pretty deep due to my neglect.
I start in the front yard, mowing and raking and weeding and planting the tulips Terrie gave me. I was getting a little frustrated because the beautiful tree in my front yard kept hitting me in the head. Not really, I kept running into it when I was pushing the lawn mower but since when do I take the blame?

(this was after it's little haircut)

Anyway, I decided that tree needed a little grooming to show it who's boss. For those of you who don't know, I'm 5'4" so tree pruning is difficult, not impossible, just difficult. I have a small collection of tools, which I'm very proud of, so I get my trusty saws all and a hack saw and start chopping away. I piled all the branches I amputated on the side of the driveway I don't use until I can cut them up and fit them in the green waste can. Life is good.
In the house, I see that my beautiful Mo is awake, so I review the day's plans with her, shower, shave, fingernails, toenails, extensions, hair, makeup, jewelry, oh, and don't forget Keith's boutonniere Mom, what time can you pick that up. Anytime after twelve, we have plenty of time, they are not picking you up until 4. It's 11- 5 hours to pickup, we're fine.
Back to the yard, my wonderful, green happy place. After painting the fence gate I replaced last year I went to start on the back yard.
It's now almost one so I figure I'll take a break and run and get the boutonniere while Mo bathes. 3 hours to pickup- remember that, it's important.
I hop in the car, insert my key in the special little slot and turn.........nothing happens, no radio comes on, no little clicking sound, nothing. Complete silence. Ok, there must be a mistake, ummm, my car is the one that starts when I put the key in the little slot. So I try again. Nothing. Hmmm, let's see if the lights come on............oh wait, they are already on.
Last night Mo took my car to the Homecoming football game. You can guess the rest. Back into the house, upstairs, into the bathroom-
"Ok, we have a slight problem, the car won't start"
"What? It always starts." says Mo, she is my daughter.
" I know, but you left the lights on last night and now the battery is dead."
" No I didn't," (See above about not taking the blame, again, the kid is mine.)
" Ok, whatever, I'm gonna walk to the flower shop, it will take about two hours, you will have to do your own hair and nails, I'll help when I get back."
"Ok, Mommy" By this point there is serious panic in her eyes, I'm not sure if its about the boutonniere, or the car, I'll worry about that later.
" Wait!" I say in a moment of brilliance, "I'll take my bike"
"But I broke your bike" (Are you seeing the same pattern I am?)
"It's ok, I fixed it, I'll be 45 minutes at the most."

Ok, backpack, wallet, helmet,but wait, just when you thought it couldn't get any better, the bike has two flat tires. I call Trina, she is on the way to jump her hubby's vehicle, I call Terrie, straight to voicemail. Finally, I call Marty. He can be here in 20 minutes. Woo hoo, life is good!
Mo comes out of the bathroom, I tell her about the bike and that Marty will be here in 20 minutes, and my beautiful, wonderful, darling child says-
"But I'm naked." Yes, there is an argument for why some eat their young.

I go out in to the garage and realize that one half of my driveway is covered with branches so I quickly drag them to the other side of the yard. Then I get in the car to put it in neutral so I can push it out of the garage, and my lovely car will not come out of park unless the car is turned on, yes I turned the key, yes I had my foot on the brake, yes I read the owners manual. My car is parked on the left hand side of the garage, the little post that sticks out of the Tupperware under my hood, is on the left side of my car. The right side of my garage is storage. It's a two car garage, but a very small one.

(Does tht look like an engine to you?)

By the time Marty pulls up I'm almost in tears, not because of the boutonniere but because I'm afraid my car will never run again, and I won't be able to trade it in because I can't get it out of the freaking garage. Marty says, relax, we can do this, did you try putting the car in neutral? I think I might kill him.
He pulls his truck all the way up to my bumper, the jumper cables are too short. Not a problem he says, getting out his trusty tape measure, there is 7 and a half feet from the side of the garage to your car and the truck is 7 feet, all we have to do, is move these boxes.

It's now 2:30 just 1 and a half hours to pick up. We quickly empty the garage onto the front yard, prompting several people to stop and ask if we are having a yard sale, why oh why can't people just leave me the hell alone when I'm having a break down?

Ok, pull the truck in, cables reach, I'm able to breath again. Marty starts the car, and so wonderfully helps me put away all the stuff from the front yard.
Sorry, I say, thanks so much but I have to go pick up that damn flower.
Well, we made it, she looks beautiful, Keith looked very handsome when he picked her up and more than a little nervous. His mom promised to bring her straight home after the dance.
Me? Well, I'm drinking wine and watching the sun set and praying that next weeks Homecoming dance goes off without a hitch.