Another sister blog... enjoy

Well here i am again updating everyone on another Friday night line dancing event..... Missi you really need to come with us .......

OK here goes....
Well this week we got there early Nia had to work and so we got dropped off at 5:45 they don't open til 6 so here stood Ang, Mark and I like a bunch of alcoholics waiting til the doors opened, but the things you see while waiting...

Of course Mrs. Know Every dance was waiting outside the door you know the type she knows every step to every dance shes in her 60's ( I'm being nice ) She was at the door no one was gettin in ahead of her and next came Retard with her lovely haircut ( crew with faux hawk ) they were standing at the front door when all of the sudden Bigg Titties comes around the corner I almost died it took everything in Ang not to laugh out loud... she was wearing a white peasant long sleeved top tucked into a blue jean mini skirt that's right another mini and her brown boots well I finally got an up close look at those legs which I must tell you were orange ( in some spots ) from the rub on self tanner.... not a good look because it made her age spots show even more. Then the doors open as they rush in we slowly make our way.. pay our cover and head to the bar for our usual draft mug and then on to our table, right side next the the dance floor opening....

Well the usual suspects were there Sister wife wore her long black skirt sleeveless top hair down and brown boots and yes she had her normal shot of whiskey ( I THINK ) Twitchy Ass was there came over to our table again to introduce himself ( again ) he did ask if either of us knew how to two step I didn't but Ang did but told him it had been a long time.. she was afraid he would ask her and pop his penis on her while dancing. Old Man Kyle was there... I'm not sure if you know him he is an older man, very thin, very good dancer, knows all the moves, has great rhythm and for some reason reminds me of my nephew Kyle ( or what I think he will be like when his in his 70's ) 80's chic was there, plastic face was also and their mom. The disappointment of the night was Booger and National were not there how very sad for us. But to our surprise Toddler Legs made a come back ( for those of you who don't know her she is a chunky lady in her 40's and when she walks or dances its like watching a toddler trying to walk for the first time ) she never bends her knees so she is a sight to see dance.

So the dancing began and we did all the usual line dances. Ang tried to learn a new one but got confused once the music came on... she did a tribute to Missi when she went out for the Mambo # 5 ( secretly she loves the dance ) a special treat tonight there was NO Band so it was just the DJ taking requests I think we did every line dance we knew and then it happened. A crowd of young 20 somethings came in, tight jeans, low tops, push up bras and they wanted to do the cha cha and the electric slide even though they didn't know how. So they stood there watching us and trying to do it along with us when in reality they were just in the way so their solution was to shake their ass and grind on each other, sad, sad, sad... but we did laugh and dance and drank a little bit more then usual. Wehad a great time making fun of our friends and showing off for the young girls who thought they knew it all.. way to go Ang....

More line dancing trauma

Oh my blogging friends, I have been ignoring you, not on purpose, I've just been trying to get a life. You can see how well that's working out because here I am, back in front of the computer.

Which brings us back to the lovely friends we last saw line dancing. We talked about Bigg Titties and the mini skirt, let's move on, I don't think I can relive that.

Sister wife.....I just love that woman, the way she rubs her hand across her ass when she's dancing, and the way she moves that ass! Sister wife is not a really heavy woman, just a little chubby, but she definately does have a big, BIG bottom. The last time we saw Sister wife she was preparing for Halloween. Oh wait, it's August, she's just learning to do make up, she's not allowed to wear any at the compound, and boy does it show. The eyebrows were dark brown slashes, the lips bright red slashes, and I think a clown helped her put on her blush. Someone help this woman!

Dear, dear National. Out here in the wild, wild west of Utah, there is an insult that I never heard anywhere else- "She looks like a rodeo girl". What that means is she is a bubbly blonde, with 80's hair, high waisted Mommy jeans and has the parade wave down pat from riding a horse as Miss Rodeo Queen. When I hear-she looks like a rodeo girl- I see National, rocking her farmers tan.

For those of you who want to know, Booger was resplendent in a black wife beater- he was shaking things up a little bit.

Before I go, just a little fashion advice for my line dancing friends. You know those high waisted mommy jeans with no pockets on the butt that made your butt look so cute in the 80's? Well, stop wearing them, cause now that your front is bigger than your back, it's a very jacked up look and some of us can't help but wonder " Doesn't she have a mirror?"