Computer Dependent

I confess, I’m addicted to my computer. I don’t know how I lived without it. Right now my computer is down and I cannot believe all the ways that my life is connected to that computer and now, I’m at a loss.

All of my writing is on that computer, every word. I can’t access it, I can’t add to it, I can’t edit it, I can’t even look at it and bask in the words I’ve written and the worlds I’ve created. It might as well not exist. Shit.

Last night I went to a friend’s house that I had never been to before, she sent the address and a google map, to my email, which I can’t access. I had written the address in my day planner but without being able to map the directions, I was lost. Thank God for cell phones.

It’s the last week of the school year, I can check my daughters grades and missing assignments online, so she can take care of them before school is finished. Oh wait, I can’t access the internet.

Paying bills, forget about it. I do everything electronically. I don’t even get paper bills in the mail anymore, they come to my email ( which, again, I can’t access) and then I log into my bank account (denied) and pay them. Do you think the mortgage company will forgive a late payment because I couldn’t access my bank account?
Even my library account, how lazy have I become? I don’t go to the library like a normal person and wander around until I find some books that look promising, no, not me. What I do instead is when I hear about a book I want to read I log onto my library account find the book and put it on hold then the library’s little automated lady calls my cell phone and let’s me know the book is ready for me. I am actually reading the Twilight series because it’s the only thing in the house I haven’t read.

Not to mention my favorite blogs. Can’t read them, can’t see them, I get updates on my phone from my blog friends through Twitter, but it’s only 140 characters. Not very informative.

My blogs, can’t touch them. I write my blogs at work and email them to myself to copy and paste into my blog from home because this blog site is blocked from work. Can’t copy and paste, can’t even read the emails.

I have a blog that I write for *******, something that may actually pay me, guess what? Can’t log in, can’t access, can’t blog.

I may strangle myself with a USB cord if this isn’t rectified soon!

Twitter, Facebook and blogs

I’m addicted to Twitter. I know how that sounds, but I need these updates. I follow Ellen, Oprah, CNN, Time and of course Demi and Ashton. Not to mention the people who’s blogs I follow. I follow their tweets as well.

Does anyone really need to know this much information about me? About anyone? Is there really anything anyone needs to know about what goes on at my desk while I’m at work?

Tweets are short, to the point, not much information, so we keep sending them. It’s almost like having our very own tabloid updates. We are a world of voyeurs and we want to know that we are important enough that the world is hanging on our every thought, every word, every moment by moment disaster.

So I tweet, get updates on my phone, all day long. I had to turn the sound off for my text messages. My phone goes off so much is sounds like I know a million people. Not true, it’s just updates on normal lives.

It’s really no different than this blog. Why do I blog? Why does anyone? I have a lot to say, words pour out of me so often I feel like I never shut up. A blog is a place to do that without having to watch people’s eyes glaze over as you talk.

Validation. That’s the bottom line. I’m important, I have things to say that people want to hear, maybe even agree with. I follow my blog friends religiously. I want to know what is going on in their lives, what their kids are doing, what is the latest gossip around their neighborhood water cooler.

Friendship. Everything and everyone is so crazy today, work, kids activities, going to the gym, volunteering, things to do around the house. Who has time to connect with friends on a face to face basis. These invisible people on Twitter and Facebook and my blog, are my friends. I can catch up with them when it’s convenient for me. I can laugh about what the kids did at midnight, if that’s when I have the time.

I’m losing touch so quickly with the day to day people in my life, because we all have busy lives. My best friend Trina calls me either on her way to work, when I’m at work and the phone is ringing off the hook, or on her way home from work, when I’m fixing dinner and reconnecting with my teenager. Neither time is good for me, but those are the times that are best for her. She has a husband, a house full of boys, a grandbaby, a job, not to mention the rest of her family. The time she has in the car is the only time she can talk and gossip uninterrupted. Doesn’t work for me, so I wind up cutting our conversations short and missing her more every day.

But, the people who live in my computer are always available, whenever I have time for them, they have time for me. I can read and feel connected, and not feel like I’m being a bad friend if I don’t return a call for days, or read their blog until 2am. So thank you fellow bloggers, tweeters and internet friends in general. Thank you for the updates, the laughs, the things that make me think. Thanks for being there. I hope I’m there for you too